I Am So Tired Of Being Alone

If this is what’s meant by a dark night of the soul you can put it in your pipe and smoke it.
I am so tired of being alone, so tired of having no one to talk to, so tired of being sick and tired.

Lying down doesn’t do the trick and waking up and reliving the same day only makes things far worse.
I am so tired of being alone, so tired of waiting for the phone to ring and when it does I am so tired of wishing people would not bother me because it only reiterates how little I actually have to say.

When the music seeps into my skull the melancholia is held at bay for notes at a time and I find myself in sweet relief and some sort of suspended animation. I have never had much time for recreational drugs, but music I suspect works something like heroin because when I get lost and found in the music I feel as if I have kissed the face of God.

Charles Cicirella
2011-05-10

Alice in Stitches

I was driving all night
Couldn’t stand the heat
So I stepped out of the kitchen

Even lotus blossoms have their dark days
Even a Japanese lantern goes black every now and then
Sometimes even a rainbow wants to strangle Judy Garland dead

Wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth
There were no utensils anywhere nearby my place of birth
I vividly remember choking on the Holy Ghost in Indiana

I am losing my memory
I have fallen down a deep rabbit hole I prefer did not actually exist
I don’t feel like doing the crosswords and I am tired of fucking myself

I was tossing and turning all day
It was like this religious fervor had taken over my anxiety ridden Godless soul
All I could taste in my mouth was bile and it kept me awake with its burning hellfire.

Charles Cicirella
2011-04-28