Monday, August 28, 2006


You Gave Him Grace

None of this makes any sense
There’s nothing credible or incredible about it
Making it even more difficult to comprehend and I know you miss him like you’ve never missed anyone before

We can turn to God
We can turn to friends and family
But does any of that really help put the pieces back together again
Does anything really lessen the pangs of emptiness you have been experiencing since your father was taken from you

I believe for the first time in your life you’re facing something bigger than anything you could have conceived to exist
I believe for the first time in your life you have been shown how some things are neither black nor white
I believe for the first time in your life everything you believed real is being called into question

Nothing anyone says to you – no advice offered can or will grant you inner peace
The only thing that even remotely helped when I experienced my loss is when someone told me how my friend just could not control his mind anymore
In your father’s case I believe he was tired of being sad – of feeling like such a great burden to others and not having any real idea how to put things back into perspective
I believe all the soul searching he attempted and all the Spiritual awakenings he so yearned to experience left him in an even more awkward state because the answers just did not seem to fit

Hannah you must believe that in your sister’s and your eyes your father did experience a welcoming light that proved beyond the shadow of any doubt that God did exist and that your father had finally done something right
The pride your father took in his daughters went beyond a parent’s normal sense of pride because I believe he had been seeking a true salvation since he entered this world and not until Rebecca and you were born did he find a way to live through your grace

I am a small child and I am running for my life
Please don’t tell anyone that I was afraid
I promise next time I will do a better job of staying sane

Charles Eric Cicirella August 13, 2005 2:22 AM
(for Hannah Rachel Gilbert)

New Birth

Sometimes the poetry just wont advance
Almost like the words in my heart are on
Strike and my head is just going along for
The ride.

Sometimes I feel like I swallowed a dictionary
And the words are all bottled up inside keeping
Their distance from anything resembling honest
To goodness communication.

I miss you sometimes when we’re not talking like I
Miss the poetry when I’m not writing because in a
Very short time you’ve come to represent so much
Of the inspired passion welling up inside of me like
A new morning.

Sometimes the poetry refuses to come out and play
Then I think of you kneeling next to your bed praying
And everything immediately gets better..

Charlie for myLisa


Somewhere between Heaven and Hell
Somewhere between the bar and the bar stool
Somewhere between the gutter and the curb
Exists a restless hungry feeling
Exists salvation disguised as starvation
Exists ether that can not be permeated
With intellect alone.

She was smiling happy go lucky
She was full of mirth capable of taming
The demons so many of us refuse to face
Day in and day out beginnings must be given
Their due and I am sorry I had such a difficult
Time putting down the mirror so I could hold you.

Somewhere between refusal and reprisal
Somewhere between the paint and the horse’s hair
Somewhere between where my mouth ends and
Your nose begins exists a tired old man not willing
To lose any ground and I don’t have any real answers,
No I don’t have anything to offer that could possibly
Quiet your night tremors.

Somewhere between Heaven and Hell I slipped on
A banana peel and have never been the same since.

Charles August 1, 2005

No comments: