Saturday, July 11, 2020

“Your Mom is an ancestor now, as we all will be one day” (For Jax)

Reading these words soothes me and calms me down
It’s like I’ve walked through the flames and reached the other side where tyranny is dead and we can finally live at peace with the flowers and the beasts
I need to channel William Blake because I believe he’s the only one who will understand how alone I feel at times as I study metaphysics and turn my back on harmful people

My mom and I always shared this special bond
As I typed those words it got me thinking about a frog named Dingledoon that my mother would tell me stories about when I was a little kid and she was potty training me
She even talked in this strange voice as Dingledoon kept me company and made me feel like I’d finally found a friend

When I went to UH to try and get her to agree to go back to a nursing facility, I walked up to her hospital bed and told her I was doing my best and she said “Charlie I know” and that was the last time she seemed good and I knew that she was saying goodbye
The heartless doctors told her the cancer had returned with not a single person in the room to hold her hand as she received this devastating news
I was just exiting the bus when she called and said you need to get here something is wrong and I replied I’m around the corner and will be there soon

Why the United States of Asinine doesn’t respect human life I will never understand as the bottom line replaces all decency and the NYSE opening and closing bells become the death knell we all cop too like another designer drug that does nothing, but drill us into a false sense of security
Now we’re debating if schools should reopen in the fall which makes no sense whatsoever as states continue to spike and we continue to disrespect the virus
I keep thinking about my mom having only one lung and how compromised she would have been if she were still alive. It’s true God works in mysterious ways and yet we still must be responsible and stop passing the buck out of laziness and a level of apathy that I’ve never seen the likes of before. Sadly we’re not all in this together.

Charles Cicirella

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