Weather Report

https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2019-04-27T00_53_46-07_00

Walked into the thunder unaware of the looming apocalypse

Drove through Culver’s and ordered Butterburgers, fries and dessert

Ready for anything including you grinding against me with your John Deere thighs

The test of time kept mocking me so I jammed my finger in its Chronos eyes and pretended nothing was wrong until surgery could no longer be avoided

Physical therapy was a bust except for the therapist who pushed her fingers into my lower back and reminded me what physical contact with another human being is like

Woke up feeling like an old, punctured tire and I don’t believe it’ll get any better with age

Entered the Walgreens in search of six packs of the eight ounce cans of Coke

Made an appointment with God and when she didn’t show up I assumed our signals must have gotten crossed

Proactive to the point that when another golden calf rears its ugly head I’ll be sure to press pause and stop all of this monkeying around

Charles Cicirella

4/23/19

Personal

https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2019-04-19T10_09_31-07_00

Drugs feed on my brain chemistry and make it impossible to ignore the inevitable

You slid up next to me like a salamander and started to talk shit in Italian

The ground was broken and never repaired because that’s what happens when children play with dynamite

It’s not that I resist change, it’s just change doesn’t come in my size and when I go to Kohl’s I’m afraid of those sketchy changing rooms

I watched the cam model for days and not once has she given me a reason to occur an overdraft fee

Stood next to the waterfall and imagined it was pissing all over me which made me want to take a shower or at the very least stop making sense

Poetry is the cradle of civilization where I both reside and resist the incurable resistance

I like to stand steadfast and pretend I’m in a race for both my life and my last supper death

The garden of Kalamata olives calls out to me like a Greek chorus of woebegone philosophers who fervently believed in both Democracy and sodomy

Since Trump has become President the news is an even bigger letdown as the media follows him down Alice’s rabbit hole and our congress breaks beneath the pressure of another Dog Day Afternoon

Drugs cozied up next to me at the bar thinking meth was my obstacle of choice when in actuality I’m the only obstacle that I’ve ever let get in my way

Tired of waiting for dollar bills to fall from the tops of buildings like cartoon anvils or safes that no one knows the combination to

My personality is an acquired taste like Drano® Liquid or honey from the most irascible of extinct honeybees

No one pays attention any longer to this trail of tears soaking into our consciousness from all the slaughter swirling around us

We mistake the blood on our hands for strawberry jam and that’s to our detriment Mr. Jones

Charles Cicirella 4/18/19

Beth

https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2019-04-14T15_51_27-07_00

Some people sweep you right off of your feet

Other people clobber you until you retreat

Beth keeps you off balance with her vertigo eyes that are not afraid to size you up and come to a decision that is ultimately out of our paltry reach

May appear oblivious, but I believe she’s as slippery as a cat on a hot tin roof keeping to her vegan diet by only consuming fruits, vegetables, tofu, assorted grains and nuts when she’s feeling her oats

When we eat at the Amazing Wok II she’s always covered with her meal midway through, but she pulls it off with aplomb while covering the stains with a bullet proof coat of pastels

Some people attempt pulling the wool over your eyes by presenting themselves as a sheep in wolves clothing

Other people know only too well that a deceitful heart will clog up your arteries

Beth changes the menu by putting her ear to the earth listening for earthquakes and other natural disasters

I enjoy shopping with her as she goes in search of natural peanut butter and I stem the tide by foraging for frozen pizzas and everything else that’s not good for me

Going to the movies is always a blast because she brings a mixture of caramel corn and popcorn in Ziploc baggies for everyone in our group

I don’t even mind when she talks during the film because she brings a fresh perspective with her interpretative dance moves

Some people constantly disappoint with their lack of ingenuity

Other people clamor like cockroaches from behind the icebox without a clear thought in their MacGyver skulls

Beth is in her own lane, keeping things fresh and prejudice free because she never judges or makes up her mind before hearing all of the evidence presented to her on a stainless steel platter

Charles Cicirella

4/13/19

Stand At Attention. Stand Down. (For Klute)

https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2019-04-11T12_08_50-07_00

I know how special he is and I think he knows how special I am.

He’s earnest to a tee and always surprising me with his poignant silences that never fail to drive me both insane and more in love with him.

The poetry drives me like nothing else and I believe the music does the same for him.

We challenge ourselves everyday by waking up and climbing out of bed.

There’s nothing more spectacular than being the captain of our own destiny and carpe diem is our friend and confidante if we let it in.

I traded punches with the champ until realizing it was a champ from forty or fifty years ago and I best get with the times before the times swallowed me whole and spit me out like a bad matzo ball.

I asked Dan to come to a feature I’ve scheduled in August and he was non-committal which broke several ventricles in my brain because I couldn’t understand why such a supportive person wouldn’t commit to supporting me.

We work together like Yin and Yang, like Bob and Dylan, like peanut butter, banana and bacon.

I was standing at attention when the President walked by then I remembered he had lost the popular vote by three million so I put on my Hillary mask and scared the bejesus out of this stable genius.

When I tell you you’re shaped like a pear I mean it affectionately and to be completely honest sometimes I believe we’ll end up together especially when considering how much you hate show tunes and how I can stomach them with a little help from my friends.

Emailing with you while you’re at work and I’m desperately trying to stay alive makes me smile from ear to ear and from California to Delaware.

We need to soon get into a rental with a CD player, put on Saved and leave this toxic world behind us in a ring of fire and “See That My Grave Is Kept Clean” coughing smoke.

I love you more than puppies and vitamin D. milk. I love you more than the colors of the rainbow and the pills Judy kept on her bedside table and I hope you love me just as much and realize we have always been in this together even before that fateful night when Queen Jayne gave us her seal of approval.

Charles Cicirella

4/11/19

Hipster Dufus

https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2019-04-10T12_21_41-07_00

“They’ve wasted the word.” – Kat Boyd

Hipsters

Clueless

Always looking the wrong way

Always expecting they’re the ones setting the trends

Fuck what’s trendy

Fuck it right in the man bun

Fuck it until their girlfriends realize they’ve been duped

Fuck it until their girlfriends realize they haven’t been fucked by an actual person in decades

Our faux existences will bite us in the ass sooner than later

That’s the way civilizations crumble when hard knocks are traded in for rose tinted contact lenses and elbow grease transmogrifies into appeasement

I’m a hipster look at me with all my money and empty brain pan

I’m a hipster watch as my friends follow me over the cliff and I die smirking with a little spittle on my Shaggy chin

Hipsters

Dipsters

Always challenging the status quo by not moving a single muscle and believing they’re shaping the culture with their Falstaff white flags

Always expecting more from the pot when in reality they have contributed nothing to a society unimpressed by their “awesomeness”

Charles Cicirella

4/10/19