Monday, September 21, 2015

Daisy Chain Repertoire

Going to wear these words around my neck like an albatross.
Going to wear these words around my neck like “Tiny Bubbles” that even Don Ho could not get off the ground.
We suit up for battle even when there are no enemies in sight and the whites of their eyes are just another bedazzled memory like semi-precious gemstones or The Rolling Stones in their actual prime.
I’m not going to drown in a swimming pool or choke on my own vomit to attain some mythical status. I’m trying to come to terms with being just another talented unknown. It’s better than knowing virtually everything about networking, but not a single solitary thing about inspiration and the slings and arrows going along with being creatively driven and creatively spent.

These words are lodestones placed on the front of the refrigerator like a kid’s drawings because pride is a tricky thing when having to do with your offspring and believing in the next generation of honest to God human beings and not just another text message or Smartphone app.
I’ve become all too accustomed to shooting my semen like unholy ghosts into the folds of this or that security blanket and pretending I don’t need to cum and pretending that it’s just another fossilized memory I must distance myself from ASAP.
I’ve always responded to how you don’t pull any punches especially when it comes to your mind over matter politics and how you loved me when it was convenient and how you walked away when I’d become just more baggage. I never pretended to be anything but who I am and I refuse to apologize for all of the madness you were subjected to when we removed our masks and watched game shows all day long in nothing but our Earl Scheib birthday suits.

I have no clue what I’m driving at, but trust me when we arrive you’ll be the first to know why we’ve come so far and how I plan to pay you back for all of your paltry patience and sexual dalliances.
I’m not here to impress you. These days I feel lucky if I can just get up from the floor after I’ve slept for 16 to 18 hours like a koala bear. I stopped making excuses for myself about ten or twelve years back. I decided it was a waste of both my time and energy trying to explain who I am or want to be when I grow up and women stop asking if I need a booster seat when we sit down for dinner.
These words are not elastic nor are they much of a bungee cord so I wouldn’t suggest jumping off of a cliff with only these sentences to keep you from plunging to the ground. We must learn to respect the people who taught us to read and think for ourselves and that goes double for our kindergarten teachers. Her name was Mrs. Jones and she had a large red birthmark on her face. I felt safe when I was around her and I also will never forget all of the doors she opened up in my mind.

Charles Cicirella

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