Going to wear
these words around my neck like an albatross.
Going to wear
these words around my neck like “Tiny Bubbles” that even Don Ho could not get
off the ground.
We suit up for
battle even when there are no enemies in sight and the whites of their eyes are
just another bedazzled memory like semi-precious gemstones or The Rolling
Stones in their actual prime.
I’m not going to
drown in a swimming pool or choke on my own vomit to attain some mythical
status. I’m trying to come to terms with being just another talented unknown.
It’s better than knowing virtually everything about networking, but not a
single solitary thing about inspiration and the slings and arrows going along
with being creatively driven and creatively spent.
These words are
lodestones placed on the front of the refrigerator like a kid’s drawings
because pride is a tricky thing when having to do with your offspring and
believing in the next generation of honest to God human beings and not just
another text message or Smartphone app.
I’ve become all
too accustomed to shooting my semen like unholy ghosts into the folds of this
or that security blanket and pretending I don’t need to cum and pretending that
it’s just another fossilized memory I must distance myself from ASAP.
I’ve always
responded to how you don’t pull any punches especially when it comes to your
mind over matter politics and how you loved me when it was convenient and how
you walked away when I’d become just more baggage. I never pretended to be
anything but who I am and I refuse to apologize for all of the madness you were
subjected to when we removed our masks and watched game shows all day long in
nothing but our Earl Scheib birthday suits.
I have no clue
what I’m driving at, but trust me when we arrive you’ll be the first to know
why we’ve come so far and how I plan to pay you back for all of your paltry
patience and sexual dalliances.
I’m not here to
impress you. These days I feel lucky if I can just get up from the floor after
I’ve slept for 16 to 18 hours like a koala bear. I stopped making excuses for
myself about ten or twelve years back. I decided it was a waste of both my time
and energy trying to explain who I am or want to be when I grow up and women
stop asking if I need a booster seat when we sit down for dinner.
These words are
not elastic nor are they much of a bungee cord so I wouldn’t suggest jumping
off of a cliff with only these sentences to keep you from plunging to the ground.
We must learn to respect the people who taught us to read and think for
ourselves and that goes double for our kindergarten teachers. Her name was Mrs.
Jones and she had a large red birthmark on her face. I felt safe when I was
around her and I also will never forget all of the doors she opened up in my
mind.
9/20/15
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