(for Lori)
Listen to her crying,
Crying for worms.
Her loving dysfunctional and
Severe; her loving keeps you
Guessing and praying.
We pray on our knees like dead soldiers
Propped up by some mad dictator.
We pray like hungry children craving cereal
And a parent’s serial knowhow.
I imagine climbing into each other’s skin,
A hobo suit like Manson talked about during
One of his many rants from a desert outpost
Where young women became his slave and
Young men turned into innocent bystanders.
Now I’m a white devil
Now I’m a prisoner
Now I’m a peasant
Now I’m a surgeon
Now I’m a rolling stone
Now I’m a traveling salesman
Now I’m a painting
Now I’m a pyramid
Now I’m a poem
Now I’m a black night
Now I’m a blank page
Listen to her crying for someone to fill her with love,
Someone who does not question who she is or why
Her arms have become black wings.
Charles
October 19, 2008 1:14 PM
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
We Gotta Move
We gotta move
No denying that
You are Chosen
You are Blessed
You are Beautiful
We gotta love
Yes, yes, yes
Give yourself a gift of life
Hand yourself over to the mystery
Passion swims throughout our DNA
White book etched in red
White book proves we’re not dead
Pages like leaves change colors in autumn.
Charles
October 15, 2008 8:02 PM
(for Lilac)
No denying that
You are Chosen
You are Blessed
You are Beautiful
We gotta love
Yes, yes, yes
Give yourself a gift of life
Hand yourself over to the mystery
Passion swims throughout our DNA
White book etched in red
White book proves we’re not dead
Pages like leaves change colors in autumn.
Charles
October 15, 2008 8:02 PM
(for Lilac)
Communicating With Ghosts
My best friend a ghost
And I speak to him
With my mouth closed.
My best friend a cauldron
Of strangulated guitar chords
And dire circumstance.
I will never forget the first time
I met his inner voice and how
We collided like freight trains blinded by light.
There’s so much I wish I could tell him
So much that got lost in translation
My best friend a ghostly remembrance.
They say take the high road
They say the path of least resistance is a godsend
But they never tell you how outdated recovery can be.
Twelve steps to Jesus
Seven steps to Buddha
Three steps to the gutter.
I went on the road in a white van
Preached about Divine Providence
The whole time O.J. was on trial.
My best friend stayed behind
I knew he was jealous that I was capable of letting everything go
My best friend hung himself because it was the only mode of Communication he had left.
Charles
October 15, 2008 1:11 PM
(for Charles Wince & Jim Shepard)
And I speak to him
With my mouth closed.
My best friend a cauldron
Of strangulated guitar chords
And dire circumstance.
I will never forget the first time
I met his inner voice and how
We collided like freight trains blinded by light.
There’s so much I wish I could tell him
So much that got lost in translation
My best friend a ghostly remembrance.
They say take the high road
They say the path of least resistance is a godsend
But they never tell you how outdated recovery can be.
Twelve steps to Jesus
Seven steps to Buddha
Three steps to the gutter.
I went on the road in a white van
Preached about Divine Providence
The whole time O.J. was on trial.
My best friend stayed behind
I knew he was jealous that I was capable of letting everything go
My best friend hung himself because it was the only mode of Communication he had left.
Charles
October 15, 2008 1:11 PM
(for Charles Wince & Jim Shepard)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Promised Land
(for Lilac)
You are a land promised.
A land I wish to visit again.
The voices I hear are not my own.
I remember driving you back at night.
Sitting in the car and listening to the frogs.
How waiting for you always filled me up.
You are a land of promise and prosperity.
A land small children laugh and play in.
The voices we hear are not in our own heads.
I see you from across the room.
Light falls around you like bayonets.
The stand we take must be our own.
Charlie
October 13, 2008 11:05 PM
You are a land promised.
A land I wish to visit again.
The voices I hear are not my own.
I remember driving you back at night.
Sitting in the car and listening to the frogs.
How waiting for you always filled me up.
You are a land of promise and prosperity.
A land small children laugh and play in.
The voices we hear are not in our own heads.
I see you from across the room.
Light falls around you like bayonets.
The stand we take must be our own.
Charlie
October 13, 2008 11:05 PM
Saturday, October 11, 2008
MORE NEW POEMS
Desperado
there’s a poem being written in my head
wants to come out and play for keeps
wants to call you on the telephone
there’s a poem standing on a bridge
cool breeze delivering these words fresh
I’m not telling tales out of school
you’re an empress of the blues
knew it first time I tasted your cooking
you’re a master of blending and purring
there’s a poem being written in the cosmic traffic
chicken soup for the soul a big fat disingenuous lie
discovering a stranger in a strange land god medicine
I feel the blues everywhere I go
they stalk me like pillars of pepper & salt
there’s a poem being written in my blood
for you
Charlie October 11, 2008 3:39 PM
(for Val)
This, That and the Other Thing
Write you a poem
Right some self prescribed wrong
Glue the wings back on a butterfly.
I’m listening to Jim
I’m not obsessing
A golden rule still holds dominion.
We talked on the phone
The silence brought us closer together
So thankful you saved me from self-wreckage.
Caucasian White plays in my Grado Labs SR60 Cans
It’s like a dead angel kissing you when your heart is open
It’s like driving off the road toward oblivion or Columbus, Ohio.
Charlie
Thursday, October 9, 2008 12:04 PM
(for Val)
Space The Final Frontier
The sun a spaceship we enter and ride.
The moon a covered wagon
We sleep inside like drunk cattle.
When I dream I swear it’s not of you.
I dream only of strangers sleeping with strangers.
I wish I understood personal space
And why intimate encounters are too often
Devoid of prayer or solitude.
The sun a mother-ship we must learn to respect.
The moon an automobile in need of clean fuel.
Charlie
August 30, 2008
Revelatory
I’m a poet
I’m a Jew
Been writing this same poem for two thousand years
I was ignored
I was crucified
I was forgiven for someone else’s sins
I’m a romantic
I’m a cynic
Been complaining since before I was conceived
You are a princess
A refugee
Been planting the same seeds for twenty two years
You were placated
You were compensated
You were driven out of the garden for crimes you refused to commit
Together we are a dream come true
The monsters under the bunk beds gave up their ghosts when we United
Nightmares were less scary when we listened to each other with open Hearts.
Charlie July 24, 2008
For Lisa Lisa
there’s a poem being written in my head
wants to come out and play for keeps
wants to call you on the telephone
there’s a poem standing on a bridge
cool breeze delivering these words fresh
I’m not telling tales out of school
you’re an empress of the blues
knew it first time I tasted your cooking
you’re a master of blending and purring
there’s a poem being written in the cosmic traffic
chicken soup for the soul a big fat disingenuous lie
discovering a stranger in a strange land god medicine
I feel the blues everywhere I go
they stalk me like pillars of pepper & salt
there’s a poem being written in my blood
for you
Charlie October 11, 2008 3:39 PM
(for Val)
This, That and the Other Thing
Write you a poem
Right some self prescribed wrong
Glue the wings back on a butterfly.
I’m listening to Jim
I’m not obsessing
A golden rule still holds dominion.
We talked on the phone
The silence brought us closer together
So thankful you saved me from self-wreckage.
Caucasian White plays in my Grado Labs SR60 Cans
It’s like a dead angel kissing you when your heart is open
It’s like driving off the road toward oblivion or Columbus, Ohio.
Charlie
Thursday, October 9, 2008 12:04 PM
(for Val)
Space The Final Frontier
The sun a spaceship we enter and ride.
The moon a covered wagon
We sleep inside like drunk cattle.
When I dream I swear it’s not of you.
I dream only of strangers sleeping with strangers.
I wish I understood personal space
And why intimate encounters are too often
Devoid of prayer or solitude.
The sun a mother-ship we must learn to respect.
The moon an automobile in need of clean fuel.
Charlie
August 30, 2008
Revelatory
I’m a poet
I’m a Jew
Been writing this same poem for two thousand years
I was ignored
I was crucified
I was forgiven for someone else’s sins
I’m a romantic
I’m a cynic
Been complaining since before I was conceived
You are a princess
A refugee
Been planting the same seeds for twenty two years
You were placated
You were compensated
You were driven out of the garden for crimes you refused to commit
Together we are a dream come true
The monsters under the bunk beds gave up their ghosts when we United
Nightmares were less scary when we listened to each other with open Hearts.
Charlie July 24, 2008
For Lisa Lisa
Sunday, May 18, 2008
NEW POEMS
Dust Up (1)
(for Jim LaClair)
Choking on the ashes of my dreams
They crucified a crow two thousand years ago
It was spoken and then it bled.
It was written and then it burned.
Does this civilization deserve any better than what it’s getting
When up is down and down is up and I really don’t feel like lying
Any longer about the state of things or why a fall from grace can be
So damn appealing.
She is gonna take a bite out of the big apple and I,
Well I feel like some kind of sewer rat hell bent on
Self discovery through the denial of One and maybe
The healing has begun or maybe just maybe we must
Wait patiently for another two thousand years but
I’ll tell you this; my Chosen status will sustain me for only so long.
Choking on the dust from dreams not yet dreamt
And I didn’t step out in front of that truck; no that would have been
A waste of both my time and my energy.
Charles Cicirella
May 15, 2008
12:20 PM
Dust Up (2)
(for Jim & Jacki LaClair)
Burn baby burn
Don’t forget nor forgive
Your origins and how far
You’ve come.
There was a burning bush
And water that was turned
Into wine and there is a Father,
And a Son and a Holy Ghost
And you needn’t ask any questions
Because the answers have all been
Vetted and shot into our veins like
Stardust.
You were there when the world began
A teacher teaching that a breath of life
Can and does make all of the difference
And you must meet your maker more than
Halfway if you really want to see a return
On your investment.
I remember falling in love for the first time
And how weightless she was; yes I recall
Holding her hand when romance was still in
Vogue and selling your soul was not so easily
done.
Learn baby learn
How worthwhile it is
To build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung.
Charles Cicirella
May 16, 2008
12:33 AM
(for Jim LaClair)
Choking on the ashes of my dreams
They crucified a crow two thousand years ago
It was spoken and then it bled.
It was written and then it burned.
Does this civilization deserve any better than what it’s getting
When up is down and down is up and I really don’t feel like lying
Any longer about the state of things or why a fall from grace can be
So damn appealing.
She is gonna take a bite out of the big apple and I,
Well I feel like some kind of sewer rat hell bent on
Self discovery through the denial of One and maybe
The healing has begun or maybe just maybe we must
Wait patiently for another two thousand years but
I’ll tell you this; my Chosen status will sustain me for only so long.
Choking on the dust from dreams not yet dreamt
And I didn’t step out in front of that truck; no that would have been
A waste of both my time and my energy.
Charles Cicirella
May 15, 2008
12:20 PM
Dust Up (2)
(for Jim & Jacki LaClair)
Burn baby burn
Don’t forget nor forgive
Your origins and how far
You’ve come.
There was a burning bush
And water that was turned
Into wine and there is a Father,
And a Son and a Holy Ghost
And you needn’t ask any questions
Because the answers have all been
Vetted and shot into our veins like
Stardust.
You were there when the world began
A teacher teaching that a breath of life
Can and does make all of the difference
And you must meet your maker more than
Halfway if you really want to see a return
On your investment.
I remember falling in love for the first time
And how weightless she was; yes I recall
Holding her hand when romance was still in
Vogue and selling your soul was not so easily
done.
Learn baby learn
How worthwhile it is
To build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung.
Charles Cicirella
May 16, 2008
12:33 AM
Dust Up (3)
(for Lisa)
Fire not water next time
My dreams are coming back to haunt me
Telling me of things to come and how
We must be prepared to fight our stereotypes
And lay down our guns.
The writing has been on the wall since before many of us
Were born or for that matter born again and a child will
Lead us and maybe her name will be Joan or Mary or
Rose; all I know for sure the status quo and all of its excuses
Is not getting any easier to accept or ignore and at some point
A minority must raise its voice saying once and for all enough
Is enough; we’re not going to take it anymore.
I remember the very first time I ate crow and how it tasted
Nothing like chicken. I remember the first time I held you
In my arms and how it felt like for the first time in my life
I was doing something right.
Charles Cicirella
May 16, 2008
7:08 PM
Romance Not Ridicule This Time
(for Lisa)
Need to move on
Something I’ve never been very good at
Or quite understood.
Too often for me unrequited love
Is like a ghost beckoning me to the edge
And that time we were at Bob’s Big Boy
And I refused to smile what was I thinking
And why was it so hard for me to be human.
I know I need to stop thinking about you
But I wont do it, rather keep myself holed up
In this juke joint of spirit and unconditional surrender,
Rather travel on this highway of unperturbed silence
Where the hum of the Greyhound’s wheels puts me down
Like a rifle once welcomed Old Yeller to slumber.
Need to move on down the road apiece
Where the faces are not so easily reconciled
And the songs on the radio come gently into my mind
Like a cool hissing summer rain and our outlaw status
Ceases and desists from breaking our hearts again.
Charles Cicirella
May 17, 2008
11:47 PM
Rainbow Pie
(for Townes)
I write what I feel
Sometimes black
Other times white
Oftentimes in between.
How does it feel to be at the top of your game;
To be so high you don’t even know what low feels like
And you never entertain conspiracy theories because
The left has always let you down someway, somehow.
I write what I experience
Sometimes hard
Other times soft
Oftentimes in between.
And I remember when we were in the womb together
Getting all squishy as we hung out learning our trade
Never not once looking back; yes I recall how divided I was
When you were delivered first, knowing I would not see you again
For a very long time.
Are either one of us truly the Son of Man and does any of this
Even matter when we’re at opposite ends of the spectrum
And daydreaming is too often frowned upon.
I do not write slight of hand.
Charles Cicirella
May 18, 2008
12:32 PM
Saturday, April 26, 2008
no distinction no nobility no romance
We’re mired in shit - kissed oblivion smack dab on the lips and all we got was tongue – I push everyone away and then I wonder why I am alone – another dead man – dead poet – dead Jew waltzing to his grave – his last stab at fame and homosapien ill advised fortune – I wanted needed to watch the puppy dog Asian girl hostess bump and grind as she seated me and knocked me out with her big eyes and bigger virtues – here we are waiting our turn – turn to burn beneath a disingenuous sun – a sun that knows no wrong only right only fortitude and what it means to go the distance but still come up short like some serial killer who is afraid to pull the trigger and take their first victim – we’re all victims aren’t we? each and every one of us out there on the fringes before being pulled back into the fold and shown just how badly we need to be accepted – need to be loved instead of abused and conditioned to only love those who kill us with diseased kindness and strangulated Cyclops parenting misadventures – I am not coming out to play – rather stay locked deep inside with my dog Bogie – Noodle – my cat Abby – Pookie – find some other way to survive – to make all the freckles on my skin disappear or finally reconnect making me invisible once and for all – make me imperfect in the eyes of the supposed beautiful people who only know how to judge and hate – I am looking for Kong or a Universal Mother something or someone that can and will erase all this envy and jealousy baking inside of me like lava or lactose – we’re mired in our own rainbow bliss if only we could give ourselves half a chance to do more than just recover – more than just live another day – another resounding triumph – another horn of plenty blown – another insignificant other given the slip in this or that departmentalized store of urban waste and pisspot renewal – performing with you was so great – watching you perform was so true – we lit Doowac on fire with our ancient notes and futuristic strokes – infamy is in our rifle scopes – we are not scapegoats – will never be the patsy for a shadow government to use up like tampons or tissue paper – when we pull the trigger – tighten the noose - everything will change for the better – self preservation has seen us through – no more self denial – Anne Frank wanted me to tell you she is sorry for leaving so soon
We’re mired in shit - kissed oblivion smack dab on the lips and all we got was tongue – I push everyone away and then I wonder why I am alone – another dead man – dead poet – dead Jew waltzing to his grave – his last stab at fame and homosapien ill advised fortune – I wanted needed to watch the puppy dog Asian girl hostess bump and grind as she seated me and knocked me out with her big eyes and bigger virtues – here we are waiting our turn – turn to burn beneath a disingenuous sun – a sun that knows no wrong only right only fortitude and what it means to go the distance but still come up short like some serial killer who is afraid to pull the trigger and take their first victim – we’re all victims aren’t we? each and every one of us out there on the fringes before being pulled back into the fold and shown just how badly we need to be accepted – need to be loved instead of abused and conditioned to only love those who kill us with diseased kindness and strangulated Cyclops parenting misadventures – I am not coming out to play – rather stay locked deep inside with my dog Bogie – Noodle – my cat Abby – Pookie – find some other way to survive – to make all the freckles on my skin disappear or finally reconnect making me invisible once and for all – make me imperfect in the eyes of the supposed beautiful people who only know how to judge and hate – I am looking for Kong or a Universal Mother something or someone that can and will erase all this envy and jealousy baking inside of me like lava or lactose – we’re mired in our own rainbow bliss if only we could give ourselves half a chance to do more than just recover – more than just live another day – another resounding triumph – another horn of plenty blown – another insignificant other given the slip in this or that departmentalized store of urban waste and pisspot renewal – performing with you was so great – watching you perform was so true – we lit Doowac on fire with our ancient notes and futuristic strokes – infamy is in our rifle scopes – we are not scapegoats – will never be the patsy for a shadow government to use up like tampons or tissue paper – when we pull the trigger – tighten the noose - everything will change for the better – self preservation has seen us through – no more self denial – Anne Frank wanted me to tell you she is sorry for leaving so soon
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Doubting Thomas and the Electric Light
When the end of the world arrives it will be like nothing you could have ever possibly conceived of just like when the world first came into being and you were off some place doing something you refuse to admit to now. Bob came into town riding on the back of an ass or with some disingenuous medicine show - a troupe of snake oil salesmen who believe in the power of prayer like once you believed in Mother Goose and Father Night. And God said: 'Let there be light.' and Dylan walked out onto that stage because it was time for his chosen work to begin and for everything else to fall away like a snake's old skin or a child's perfect laughter. We begin in a disassociate state of 'Mama's in the fact'ry she ain't got no shoes daddy's in the alley he's lookin' for the fuse' and before you know it it's all over and that which was off the mark hits the bull’s-eye dead center and the guitar is your only lover now. When the end of the world comes up around the bend don't forget that the pistol is loaded and a game of solitaire is oftentimes more rewarding than Russian Roulette could ever hope to be.
Charles Cicirella Saturday, November 24, 2007
When the end of the world arrives it will be like nothing you could have ever possibly conceived of just like when the world first came into being and you were off some place doing something you refuse to admit to now. Bob came into town riding on the back of an ass or with some disingenuous medicine show - a troupe of snake oil salesmen who believe in the power of prayer like once you believed in Mother Goose and Father Night. And God said: 'Let there be light.' and Dylan walked out onto that stage because it was time for his chosen work to begin and for everything else to fall away like a snake's old skin or a child's perfect laughter. We begin in a disassociate state of 'Mama's in the fact'ry she ain't got no shoes daddy's in the alley he's lookin' for the fuse' and before you know it it's all over and that which was off the mark hits the bull’s-eye dead center and the guitar is your only lover now. When the end of the world comes up around the bend don't forget that the pistol is loaded and a game of solitaire is oftentimes more rewarding than Russian Roulette could ever hope to be.
Charles Cicirella Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Self Portrait 2
Ocala National Forest
Followed yellow butterfly
Discovered Evolution and Thought.
Charlie
8/6/2007
Wakefulness
There’s no objectification
There is no reason
No longer divided
Ready to fall
Woke Up
Sleep uneventful
No tossing
Little turning
I want for her to twist me
Around her littlest finger
Look into my eyes with her
Passion and her violence
There will be an Exodus
Nothing to do but wait
And crumble.
Charlie
8/6/2007
3
Don’t take drugs
Don’t drink alcohol
Don’t have sex
Wasn’t breastfed
Lactose intolerant
Threw away all my yellowing piss stained underwear
Threw her away just because I can’t seem to get straight
I’m narrow
Not often open minded
Weighed 120 pounds for a long, long time now I weigh 140 soaking wet
I’m about 5’2 maybe 5’3 if I stand on my tiptoes
I don’t hit myself in the face as much as I use to
Maybe it’s the Lamictal maybe not
Still swear like a sailor
Still not working enough to stand on my own two feet
Still writing poetry.
Charlie
8.08.2007
Swanson Classics Mexican Style Fiesta
I miss the aluminum foil tray
Miss God tucking me in at night
Don't miss Pontius Pilate passing the buck
Miss being Jewish and praying to one God.
I don’t miss beating myself up like a piñata
Don’t miss the frustration of being told no
Don’t miss not eating and not drinking
Don’t miss not feeling and not thinking.
I wish I’d not used all of the sour cream
Wish I’d taken it slower and easier with you
Wish I’d been a nicer more respectful boyfriend
Wish I had learned to love you before it was too late.
Charlie 8/9/2007 11:31 AM
FATE
you say eternity
I say infinity
let's call the whole thing off
you say oblivion
I say oblivious
let's get it on
Don't stop!
Charlie 8-12
Gin Rummy
I saw
I felt
I know
This heat
This fire
Your warrior heart
Your burning sun
No one is holding out any longer
We were hostages until shooting
Ourselves in the head
I saw you as a child
Spied you as an adult
Hiding in plain view
Terrified of being found out
I want to wrestle both our demons
Until there’s nothing left but shiny stones
I want to learn to swim, meet a mermaid
And settle down for good.
Charlie
August 17, 2007
Do Unto Others
It’s time to unwrap the package
A gift of angels
The sacrifice of a pale white horse
Regression replaced by rebirth.
I thought she got my sense of humor
Until she became permanently angry
Over my refusal to support myself.
Went out today to deposit my paycheck
Was in a trance as I overheard other’s conversations
Left a waitress a four dollar tip on an eight dollar bill
It’s time to unwrap this package.
Charlie
August 21, 2007 5:11 PM
Discipline
Smell the coffee
Smell God
Smell God brewing the coffee
Smell bodies burning
Smell God
Smell God burning the bodies
Is there any real discipline?
Our dogma dogmatic
Instant karma suspect
When push absolutely comes to shove
Is it better to be a do-gooder or a
Do-nothing?
Smell the moonlight
Smell God
Smell God hiding in the moonlight
Charles
August 29, 2007 11:13 PM
Convergence
Three Monarch butterflies came to visit me today
I believe they are protector spirits and that they
Not only represent God but are God.
I feel safe when you’re around
More certain of why I am here.
When cradled in your arms I feel
Less likely or willing to give up
On myself.
One Monarch flew straight at me, then virtually out of nowhere
A second one appeared, both danced around me making me feel
Happy and free.
God blesses me
Made it crystal clear
I wouldn’t die with the rest of them
That I was here for the young hearts.
Charles
September 1, 2007 12:03 AM
Convergence 2
A convergence must happen within
Before we can look our DNA in the face
And dispel all this negative energy
Taking hold.
Charles
September 1, 2007 12:48 PM
Followed yellow butterfly
Discovered Evolution and Thought.
Charlie
8/6/2007
Wakefulness
There’s no objectification
There is no reason
No longer divided
Ready to fall
Woke Up
Sleep uneventful
No tossing
Little turning
I want for her to twist me
Around her littlest finger
Look into my eyes with her
Passion and her violence
There will be an Exodus
Nothing to do but wait
And crumble.
Charlie
8/6/2007
3
Don’t take drugs
Don’t drink alcohol
Don’t have sex
Wasn’t breastfed
Lactose intolerant
Threw away all my yellowing piss stained underwear
Threw her away just because I can’t seem to get straight
I’m narrow
Not often open minded
Weighed 120 pounds for a long, long time now I weigh 140 soaking wet
I’m about 5’2 maybe 5’3 if I stand on my tiptoes
I don’t hit myself in the face as much as I use to
Maybe it’s the Lamictal maybe not
Still swear like a sailor
Still not working enough to stand on my own two feet
Still writing poetry.
Charlie
8.08.2007
Swanson Classics Mexican Style Fiesta
I miss the aluminum foil tray
Miss God tucking me in at night
Don't miss Pontius Pilate passing the buck
Miss being Jewish and praying to one God.
I don’t miss beating myself up like a piñata
Don’t miss the frustration of being told no
Don’t miss not eating and not drinking
Don’t miss not feeling and not thinking.
I wish I’d not used all of the sour cream
Wish I’d taken it slower and easier with you
Wish I’d been a nicer more respectful boyfriend
Wish I had learned to love you before it was too late.
Charlie 8/9/2007 11:31 AM
FATE
you say eternity
I say infinity
let's call the whole thing off
you say oblivion
I say oblivious
let's get it on
Don't stop!
Charlie 8-12
Gin Rummy
I saw
I felt
I know
This heat
This fire
Your warrior heart
Your burning sun
No one is holding out any longer
We were hostages until shooting
Ourselves in the head
I saw you as a child
Spied you as an adult
Hiding in plain view
Terrified of being found out
I want to wrestle both our demons
Until there’s nothing left but shiny stones
I want to learn to swim, meet a mermaid
And settle down for good.
Charlie
August 17, 2007
Do Unto Others
It’s time to unwrap the package
A gift of angels
The sacrifice of a pale white horse
Regression replaced by rebirth.
I thought she got my sense of humor
Until she became permanently angry
Over my refusal to support myself.
Went out today to deposit my paycheck
Was in a trance as I overheard other’s conversations
Left a waitress a four dollar tip on an eight dollar bill
It’s time to unwrap this package.
Charlie
August 21, 2007 5:11 PM
Discipline
Smell the coffee
Smell God
Smell God brewing the coffee
Smell bodies burning
Smell God
Smell God burning the bodies
Is there any real discipline?
Our dogma dogmatic
Instant karma suspect
When push absolutely comes to shove
Is it better to be a do-gooder or a
Do-nothing?
Smell the moonlight
Smell God
Smell God hiding in the moonlight
Charles
August 29, 2007 11:13 PM
Convergence
Three Monarch butterflies came to visit me today
I believe they are protector spirits and that they
Not only represent God but are God.
I feel safe when you’re around
More certain of why I am here.
When cradled in your arms I feel
Less likely or willing to give up
On myself.
One Monarch flew straight at me, then virtually out of nowhere
A second one appeared, both danced around me making me feel
Happy and free.
God blesses me
Made it crystal clear
I wouldn’t die with the rest of them
That I was here for the young hearts.
Charles
September 1, 2007 12:03 AM
Convergence 2
A convergence must happen within
Before we can look our DNA in the face
And dispel all this negative energy
Taking hold.
Charles
September 1, 2007 12:48 PM
Monday, August 06, 2007
Self Portrait 1
These poems are from a series of new poetry discs I'm working on entitled 'Self Portrait'. There are 7 CD's in all - ten poems on each disc.
1.
Took a walk around the block
Looked straight into the sun
Heat soaked into my skin.
Made eye contact with a dog
When I turned around it was still there
A woman chatted with her daughter.
A squirrel charged toward me
Bees buzzed like a symphony
A bird chirped hello.
Charlie
June 15, 2007
2.
Tell yourself a secret
Don’t tell anyone else
Seal your mouth shut
With black electrical tape,
Pretty flowers or a devilish
Grin.
Visit her when she’s gardening
Don’t wait till she’s in the hospital
And you can not find a place to park.
My story is not a tragic one though
Sometimes I like to pretend that it is
I told her I was a delicate flower and
She told me I was full of crap.
Tell yourself you only have 6 months
To live and see what, if any, response
This elicits from all the inner children
You refuse to speak to or support.
Charlie
June 17, 2007
Unclasped
No one owns your body
Not him
Only God
Only you
No one owns your mind
Not anyone
Not God
Not you
We are flying in the face of adversity
Clawing at the tiger’s striped skin
Staring in the face of a brimming volcano
No one can or should tell you what to do
Not him
Only God
Only you
No one controls your thoughts
Not anyone
Not God
Only you
Charlie for Joey 7/17/07 12:02 AM
Grounds
Drink the coffee
Goes right through
Too much sugar
Too much cream
Watch the news
Too much intolerance
Too many broken heads
Try to love you
End up alone
Try to love myself
End up loving somebody else
Alone too long
Selfish, stupid, a child
Wearing an adult’s skin
Alone for too long
My behavior insufferable
Praying for another type of sin
Drink the poison
Goes right down
Too many I told you so's
Too many daydreams
Charlie July 2007
Den
The lions aren’t hungry
I’ll surely be ripped to shreds
When they will be is anyone’s guess
I’m not a lion
Not even a wolf in sheep’s clothing
I once was a snake then I shed my skin
We aren’t here to fuss or fight
Aren’t here to be wrong or right
It’s pretty obvious if you just open your eyes
I’ve lost my appetite
I never cared much for apples or oranges
The fruit of knowledge an oxymoron
Come closer
Don’t worry I’m not going to kiss you
This time you wont get off that easy
The lions have gone south for the winter
Something about plummeting property values
I want to be cremated when I’m born again.
Charlie July 2007
needs and wants
I need to write another poem
About my ear and how it listens to the Earth
I need to say something I’ve not said before
I want to contact her
Stop confessing my sins
Just love her once and for all
Yes I am dissatisfied
Yes I question what went wrong
No I never had a master plan or hidden agenda
I need to decide once and for all if it's destiny I'm heading toward
I need to figure out how when I feel like I’m ruined if that is a strength or a weakness
Yes I very much want to live
Yes I very much need to give
Charlie July 2007
We must ready ourselves to fight
White snow turns black ash
White light turns black light
Bright day turns blackest night
We know black
We know white
We must diffuse the grey
We know life
We know death
Limbo must be erased
You are never out of your depth
No matter what you may condition yourself to believe
Hope does not lie dormant – fear a waste of time and energy
Time does not exist
We outlast past, present and future
There are no remedies until we fight
Snow turns to ash
Day turns into night
Sun protects us – moon deplores us
We know God
We know ourselves
Introduce yourself to possibility
Charlie July 2007
King of Kings
He was singing a song.
He was wearing a paper crown.
Charles
8/4/2007
Judas Saved Jesus From A Life of Perpetual Crime
No one was betrayed
No one was forsaken
No one sought refuge
No one died in vain.
Jesus Saved Judas From A Life of Perpetual Shame
No money changed hands
No blood on anyone’s hands
No shifting winds reclaimed any one Kingdom.
Charles
8/4/2007
A Pocketful of Posies
I like you like I like the sun
And I ain’t telling anyone
I like you like I like the flowers
No I ain’t telling anyone.
I believe in you like I believe in the Sacrifice
And I’m telling everyone
I believe in you like I believe in the Cross
Yes I’m telling everyone.
Charles
8/5/07
1.
Took a walk around the block
Looked straight into the sun
Heat soaked into my skin.
Made eye contact with a dog
When I turned around it was still there
A woman chatted with her daughter.
A squirrel charged toward me
Bees buzzed like a symphony
A bird chirped hello.
Charlie
June 15, 2007
2.
Tell yourself a secret
Don’t tell anyone else
Seal your mouth shut
With black electrical tape,
Pretty flowers or a devilish
Grin.
Visit her when she’s gardening
Don’t wait till she’s in the hospital
And you can not find a place to park.
My story is not a tragic one though
Sometimes I like to pretend that it is
I told her I was a delicate flower and
She told me I was full of crap.
Tell yourself you only have 6 months
To live and see what, if any, response
This elicits from all the inner children
You refuse to speak to or support.
Charlie
June 17, 2007
Unclasped
No one owns your body
Not him
Only God
Only you
No one owns your mind
Not anyone
Not God
Not you
We are flying in the face of adversity
Clawing at the tiger’s striped skin
Staring in the face of a brimming volcano
No one can or should tell you what to do
Not him
Only God
Only you
No one controls your thoughts
Not anyone
Not God
Only you
Charlie for Joey 7/17/07 12:02 AM
Grounds
Drink the coffee
Goes right through
Too much sugar
Too much cream
Watch the news
Too much intolerance
Too many broken heads
Try to love you
End up alone
Try to love myself
End up loving somebody else
Alone too long
Selfish, stupid, a child
Wearing an adult’s skin
Alone for too long
My behavior insufferable
Praying for another type of sin
Drink the poison
Goes right down
Too many I told you so's
Too many daydreams
Charlie July 2007
Den
The lions aren’t hungry
I’ll surely be ripped to shreds
When they will be is anyone’s guess
I’m not a lion
Not even a wolf in sheep’s clothing
I once was a snake then I shed my skin
We aren’t here to fuss or fight
Aren’t here to be wrong or right
It’s pretty obvious if you just open your eyes
I’ve lost my appetite
I never cared much for apples or oranges
The fruit of knowledge an oxymoron
Come closer
Don’t worry I’m not going to kiss you
This time you wont get off that easy
The lions have gone south for the winter
Something about plummeting property values
I want to be cremated when I’m born again.
Charlie July 2007
needs and wants
I need to write another poem
About my ear and how it listens to the Earth
I need to say something I’ve not said before
I want to contact her
Stop confessing my sins
Just love her once and for all
Yes I am dissatisfied
Yes I question what went wrong
No I never had a master plan or hidden agenda
I need to decide once and for all if it's destiny I'm heading toward
I need to figure out how when I feel like I’m ruined if that is a strength or a weakness
Yes I very much want to live
Yes I very much need to give
Charlie July 2007
We must ready ourselves to fight
White snow turns black ash
White light turns black light
Bright day turns blackest night
We know black
We know white
We must diffuse the grey
We know life
We know death
Limbo must be erased
You are never out of your depth
No matter what you may condition yourself to believe
Hope does not lie dormant – fear a waste of time and energy
Time does not exist
We outlast past, present and future
There are no remedies until we fight
Snow turns to ash
Day turns into night
Sun protects us – moon deplores us
We know God
We know ourselves
Introduce yourself to possibility
Charlie July 2007
King of Kings
He was singing a song.
He was wearing a paper crown.
Charles
8/4/2007
Judas Saved Jesus From A Life of Perpetual Crime
No one was betrayed
No one was forsaken
No one sought refuge
No one died in vain.
Jesus Saved Judas From A Life of Perpetual Shame
No money changed hands
No blood on anyone’s hands
No shifting winds reclaimed any one Kingdom.
Charles
8/4/2007
A Pocketful of Posies
I like you like I like the sun
And I ain’t telling anyone
I like you like I like the flowers
No I ain’t telling anyone.
I believe in you like I believe in the Sacrifice
And I’m telling everyone
I believe in you like I believe in the Cross
Yes I’m telling everyone.
Charles
8/5/07
Sunday, June 10, 2007
In the ruins of your balcony (for Joni)
I look into the eyes she painted,
The eyes our creator created
Eyes of nausea
Eyes of peril
Eyes of violence
My lips sealed by the kiss of a blue butterfly
My nose smashed and repaired by a raging bull
She stands close by a white silhouette doing her best
To remind me we’re both human and wanting
The remains of another prescribed day
Looking at your yellow railroad warning us if we breathe in
The air around Tom Paine there will be nothing left but our
Imprint and impassioned souls
She’s not painting anything less than my real face
White shafts of paint and plaster shoot from my head like
Greek or Roman pillars and I’ll never forget the way her
Antiquity smelled like wildflowers
I study the remnants of a portrait she breaks down
With every fire stroke of her bewitched fairy tale
And I’m both horrified and elated
I’m still a young lion, a novice savage desiring
Sinew and space to consume or take sanctuary in.
Charles
June 10, 2007
The eyes our creator created
Eyes of nausea
Eyes of peril
Eyes of violence
My lips sealed by the kiss of a blue butterfly
My nose smashed and repaired by a raging bull
She stands close by a white silhouette doing her best
To remind me we’re both human and wanting
The remains of another prescribed day
Looking at your yellow railroad warning us if we breathe in
The air around Tom Paine there will be nothing left but our
Imprint and impassioned souls
She’s not painting anything less than my real face
White shafts of paint and plaster shoot from my head like
Greek or Roman pillars and I’ll never forget the way her
Antiquity smelled like wildflowers
I study the remnants of a portrait she breaks down
With every fire stroke of her bewitched fairy tale
And I’m both horrified and elated
I’m still a young lion, a novice savage desiring
Sinew and space to consume or take sanctuary in.
Charles
June 10, 2007
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Extrapolation (Part Two)
I believe I have a greater purpose
I refuse to tell you what it is
The one & only time I talked about this
I was looked at like I was crazy
And I never want to feel that way again
Where there is life
There is hope
Someone once told me hope equates fear
I no longer choose to believe this
Fear equates fear
Out in Nevada at a rest area reading Thomas Merton
Waiting for God
I must motivate myself to act
Waiting on God
The drive & willfulness exists inside of me
God has always been right here
Charles June 5, 2007
I believe I have a greater purpose
I refuse to tell you what it is
The one & only time I talked about this
I was looked at like I was crazy
And I never want to feel that way again
Where there is life
There is hope
Someone once told me hope equates fear
I no longer choose to believe this
Fear equates fear
Out in Nevada at a rest area reading Thomas Merton
Waiting for God
I must motivate myself to act
Waiting on God
The drive & willfulness exists inside of me
God has always been right here
Charles June 5, 2007
BIRTH (Part One)
There is a poem fighting to get out
I feel it moving around
When it starts to scream and kick
I will attempt extracting it
I am not your father
I am no one’s father
What I write is often not
What I am feeling and still
I attempt wrestling
Supposed genius
From this starved,
Unyielding intellect
One word leads to the next
Haven’t I seen you here before
One line begets another
Didn’t we once attempt
To love each another
There is a person fighting to go in
I can feel him beneath the surface
It makes no difference how much you resist
He’ll scratch out your eyes before surrendering
To this endless diatribe
You are not my mother
You are no one’s mother
What I believe is not often
What I cop to and still
I’m praying for something
One poem possibly leads to the next
Haven’t we already played this out
One poem like a watchtower admits failure
Haven’t we seen better nights and days
One failed relationship will hardly end your life
Or so it would seem
Charles June 2, 2007
There is a poem fighting to get out
I feel it moving around
When it starts to scream and kick
I will attempt extracting it
I am not your father
I am no one’s father
What I write is often not
What I am feeling and still
I attempt wrestling
Supposed genius
From this starved,
Unyielding intellect
One word leads to the next
Haven’t I seen you here before
One line begets another
Didn’t we once attempt
To love each another
There is a person fighting to go in
I can feel him beneath the surface
It makes no difference how much you resist
He’ll scratch out your eyes before surrendering
To this endless diatribe
You are not my mother
You are no one’s mother
What I believe is not often
What I cop to and still
I’m praying for something
One poem possibly leads to the next
Haven’t we already played this out
One poem like a watchtower admits failure
Haven’t we seen better nights and days
One failed relationship will hardly end your life
Or so it would seem
Charles June 2, 2007
Template
Must swim out of here
Find some other place
Emptiness never ending
Loss of hope a cold chill
Did I make this bed of isolation
Construct it from childhood memory
Remember calling myself on the telephone
How I never picked up until the last ring
So self conscious as a kid
Before I began writing never felt comfortable in my own skin
Martyrdom created from ancestry and failed attempts at discovering peace
Both my inner and outer selves screaming for autonomy
Must light the fuse destroy this fortress of solitude
A kind and benevolent doctor prescribed poetry
Must get back in touch with synchronicity and sacred trust
Tell myself the secret withholding nothing not even reverie
The template of our lives forged in silver and gold
Blueprints checked and rechecked before granted wings
Read the syllabus convinced there was nothing left for me
How wrong I was as my beginning and ending became one.
Charles May 28, 2007
Must swim out of here
Find some other place
Emptiness never ending
Loss of hope a cold chill
Did I make this bed of isolation
Construct it from childhood memory
Remember calling myself on the telephone
How I never picked up until the last ring
So self conscious as a kid
Before I began writing never felt comfortable in my own skin
Martyrdom created from ancestry and failed attempts at discovering peace
Both my inner and outer selves screaming for autonomy
Must light the fuse destroy this fortress of solitude
A kind and benevolent doctor prescribed poetry
Must get back in touch with synchronicity and sacred trust
Tell myself the secret withholding nothing not even reverie
The template of our lives forged in silver and gold
Blueprints checked and rechecked before granted wings
Read the syllabus convinced there was nothing left for me
How wrong I was as my beginning and ending became one.
Charles May 28, 2007
Heat and Flame
Standing next to me
I feel her heat
Reminds me of summertime,
When I was a child
Before I was born
Standing next to me
I witness her flame
Reaching fever pitch
Revelatory in
Primal speech
There is another plane
Beyond borderline and
Graveyard, a smiling desert
Filled with living souls
And roving gamblers
Our existence the gift and the promise
Heat and flame directing us toward
Inner strength and declarations of
Independence.
Charles May 26, 2007
Standing next to me
I feel her heat
Reminds me of summertime,
When I was a child
Before I was born
Standing next to me
I witness her flame
Reaching fever pitch
Revelatory in
Primal speech
There is another plane
Beyond borderline and
Graveyard, a smiling desert
Filled with living souls
And roving gamblers
Our existence the gift and the promise
Heat and flame directing us toward
Inner strength and declarations of
Independence.
Charles May 26, 2007
Alphabet Oxygen Soup
words untie the noose
tell right from wrong
pull down the curtain
last longer than breath
We must fight sickness
ghosts in the machine
hopelessness
God killers
does your skeleton possess the key to the lock
walk through walls unscathed
believe in magic
understand we’ve been sent
not abandoned here
words tie everything together
are closer to me than my next of kin
I wore an oxygen mask for the first thirteen years of my life
then I sat down and began to write and have not once looked back.
Charles May 23, 2007
words untie the noose
tell right from wrong
pull down the curtain
last longer than breath
We must fight sickness
ghosts in the machine
hopelessness
God killers
does your skeleton possess the key to the lock
walk through walls unscathed
believe in magic
understand we’ve been sent
not abandoned here
words tie everything together
are closer to me than my next of kin
I wore an oxygen mask for the first thirteen years of my life
then I sat down and began to write and have not once looked back.
Charles May 23, 2007
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