Wednesday, July 15, 2020
Ride the Wave
Excalibur
called and said it wanted its sword back, I mean its rock, I mean the myth it’s
been sheathed in long before King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table got
involved
Julie
said I looked like an eccentric college professor and all I then could think of
was her in that plaid skirt and sweater that showed her mid-drift when she came
to my feature reading at Mahall's
Sometimes
I cannot get my mind out of the gutter or is it really in the gutter because we’re
all human and being attracted to another human being is natural as long as you
don’t cross a line and do something stupid and criminal
I
would have rode the wave, but water and me are on a strict need to know basis
and yes I know I’m a water sign, but that doesn’t make the fear I’m feeling any
less real
Today
I argued with the Mayor from a small city here in Cleveland. It’s over the
laying off of my roommate and masking it in Covid-19 and a rotten stench coming
from their complete lack of compassion or competence
My
roommate will probably have to roll over and take it because no one any longer
believes or bets on the little person, instead everyone pretends they’re
impervious to being hurt and don’t really give a good Goddamn about their
neighbor
My
roommate was bullied on a continual basis for fifteen brutal years and in fear
of losing her job, continued to take the abuse. This doesn’t make my roommate
guilty of anything and it most definitely doesn’t make Bedford Heights any less
culpable.
The
pandemic being used as an excuse to lay off anyone at this time and take away
their health insurance, especially when the Mayor himself is double dipping is
reprehensible and everyone involved must now account for their actions
There
are a lot of people on the front lines who are true heroes, but there are also
a lot of people in some level of power who are using this current nightmare we’re
all living in to their personal advantage. My roommate had been there fifteen
years and instead of trying to find her another department she could work in
they just laid her off. Doesn’t seniority count for anything? My roommate
worked in a toxic work environment that was hostile to her and discounted and
disregarded her diagnosed disabilities, telling her in one meeting that if she
couldn’t get a handle on them she’d be sent home. Bedford Heights has a history
of exhibiting this kind of behavior and no HR Dept. during any of this time to
help an employee navigate this hostile, toxic work environment.
I’m trying to ride the
wave, but I’m drowning in all this hypocrisy.
Charles Cicirella
7/15/20
Sunday, July 12, 2020
Break My Heart Open Like a Melon (For Jax)
https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2020-07-12T02_41_53-07_00
Open
hearts performing heart surgery on exhausted souls looking to recharge
The
white page is nothing to fear unlike the white man who rubs his white privilege
in your face and expects you to thank him for his nasty, populist politics
My
family thinks I’m a scumbag and that’s okay because they never once asked me
about my art or made any effort whatsoever to understand where it is I’m coming
from
When
Jax talks about la bambina my heart flutters like a butterfly and I wish we
could all share a meal together
Across
the pond is a soul who operates outside logic because she’s learned in past
lives not recognizing one’s gifts is no kind of life to attempt living
We
strive to be our best selves if we know what’s good for us and at the stroke of
midnight I’ll turn back into a pumpkin
Today
a supposed friend told me to get a haircut and to trim my beard because I look
like a wild man to which I replied what’s wrong with looking wild
I’m
just me and you are just you and together maybe we can be something if we stop
passing off counterfeit compliments like they actually meant something
I
met a full blown racist when I was standing in line at Giant Eagle yesterday
and I actually found it refreshing to hear someone speak their mind and not hide
behind a cloak of false civility
Of
course I didn’t agree with anything she said, but as we stood there like two masked
gunslingers I wondered how easy it would be to rob a bank or at the very least
get this person to admit that the hatred she’s feeling toward others is all
going to be directed back to her sooner than later
The
pandemic has turned our world upside down as companies make us jump through
more hoops to get the same unsatisfying results
Even
before the virus it was next to impossible getting a business to answer their
phone and if I hear one more automated voice telling me due to Covid-19 no one
is available to take my call at this time I may just scream at the top of my
lungs and leave this country for the Scottish Highlands
Charles Cicirella
7/12/20
Saturday, July 11, 2020
“Your Mom is an ancestor now, as we all will be one day” (For Jax)
https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2020-07-11T00_32_34-07_00
Reading
these words soothes me and calms me down
It’s
like I’ve walked through the flames and reached the other side where tyranny is
dead and we can finally live at peace with the flowers and the beasts
I
need to channel William Blake because I believe he’s the only one who will
understand how alone I feel at times as I study metaphysics and turn my back on
harmful people
My
mom and I always shared this special bond
As
I typed those words it got me thinking about a frog named Dingledoon that my
mother would tell me stories about when I was a little kid and she was potty
training me
She
even talked in this strange voice as Dingledoon kept me company and made me
feel like I’d finally found a friend
When
I went to UH to try and get her to agree to go back to a nursing facility, I
walked up to her hospital bed and told her I was doing my best and she said “Charlie
I know” and that was the last time she seemed good and I knew that she was
saying goodbye
The
heartless doctors told her the cancer had returned with not a single person in
the room to hold her hand as she received this devastating news
I
was just exiting the bus when she called and said you need to get here something
is wrong and I replied I’m around the corner and will be there soon
Why
the United States of Asinine doesn’t respect human life I will never understand
as the bottom line replaces all decency and the NYSE opening and closing bells become
the death knell we all cop too like another designer drug that does nothing, but
drill us into a false sense of security
Now
we’re debating if schools should reopen in the fall which makes no sense
whatsoever as states continue to spike and we continue to disrespect the virus
I
keep thinking about my mom having only one lung and how compromised she would
have been if she were still alive. It’s true God works in mysterious ways and
yet we still must be responsible and stop passing the buck out of laziness and
a level of apathy that I’ve never seen the likes of before. Sadly we’re not all in this together.
Charles Cicirella
7/11/20Friday, July 10, 2020
Marching Orders (For Jax)
https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2020-07-10T11_41_37-07_00
Hanging
on the chandelier like a chimpanzee high on potassium and freedom that comes
from living a life outside the norm
We
twist in the wind when we’re not careful and step on a crack or allow a black
cat to cross our undesignated path
Jax
gets it because she’s been pulling out all the stops since before even she was
a bambina and the Silk Road unraveled before her like Guthrie’s ribbon highway
I
plugged in because tuning out was never an option plus I’ve never been good at
doing what I was told when it hardly made sense and I felt the need to stretch
out my artistic prowess
I’ve
learned you must just start creating be it words on a page, paint on a canvas,
music in a studio of your own mind because without art there is no oxygen and
without oxygen there is no life
She
sent me a picture of her daughter and so many feelings welled up inside my
chimney body I just about blew a gasket and had to go to the toymaker to
recalibrate my taproot zymology
Frozen
in crustacean time I had to crack open my own shell before I could finally feel
my toes and go about the good work of lending a hand and reinventing the wheel
They
aren’t exactly marching orders, but are instead purple fingerprints and make us
weightless like the gravitational pull of Shatner’s method reacting
Every
night we watch an original episode of Star
Trek because something about it reminds me of when I was a child and hunger
was just another word for Go Tell It on
the Mountain
Jax
never picks up her toys and goes home because what would even be the point when
we need more playdates in a world of broken down hearts and their inability to
pump blood back into the Temple Mount
People
reject my poetry as just endless clutter and to those dead souls I say shame on
you for pretending you’re in touch when nothing could be further from the truth
Swinging
through the trees like a great ape completely comfortable with their lot in
life because this great ape knows we can always escape the box we’re in once we
accept this jungle is of our own devising and can be rectified once we stop
being afraid of the reckoning that is to come.
Charles Cicirella
7/10/20
Jax Muse
https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/charlespoet/episodes/2020-07-09T23_34_26-07_00
Waiting
at the door of my mind for another poem to advance like Sherman's March to the
Sea
“Something
there is about you that strikes a match in me” that’s what Bob wrote, while for
me it’s more like a light at the end of a tunnel that I never believed I’d see
I’m
a fool when it comes to people because even though I’ve always known what to
say in my poetry, it’s never been the case face to face as I oftentimes ruin a good thing by being too pushy or too dependent on conspiracies of illogic
Jax
Muse a silver lining crashing through the pounding, cranial waves by presenting
a new direction through the thundering of paranoia and the lightning of anxiety
constantly purging my soul
There’s
a right and a wrong way and then there’s my way which guarantees failure
because not many people can handle a lava monster artist as I impede any
strengthening bonds by asking too many fireproof questions
I
watched her as the tears began falling and I knew someone was going to lose a
finger or eye as two chameleons on a mirror have a conversation in poem form
I
borrowed some of that last line from Jax because her words stoke my inner lion
I
don’t believe Jax quite gets just how much power she possesses as her genuine,
gentle nature supersedes all the bullshit too many egomaniacs pass off as art
I
haven’t tuned into anyone’s wavelength like this in a long time because all the
radio stations have been co-opted by rope- a-dope salesmen hell-bent on
breaking our spirits by brick walling the music and throwing it into our ears
like poisoned darts.
Charles Cicirella
7/10/20
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