It’s Not about Winning or Losing or even how you play the Game

http://charlespoet.podomatic.com/entry/2015-08-08T14_38_09-07_00

I am not concerned about winning or losing or even how you believe I played the game.
I just stopped caring and I cannot explain that nor do I wish to explain it to you or even to myself.
He used to call her Tangerine. I was in the back seat when she gave him head. When she was getting out of the car I said something like thanks for the blowjob and he never spoke to me again.

Starting to realize all these years later that people around me took issue with how few showers I may have taken during high school. I don’t believe I was dirty, but once your personal hygiene is questioned everything else is soon placed under the microscope.
It’s funny to think how Lori Steiner had no problem messing around with Larry Turozy, but wouldn’t even show me her breasts one single time. And that includes the time she was drunk and called me over to her house to I guess tease me because she knew she still could.
Larry also dated Julie Balunek another girl I wouldn’t have minded messing around with. We cut school one afternoon and went over to John Dobeck’s house to watch Deep Throat but it didn’t go any farther than that.

I don’t have a clue what I’m doing or where my fingers may next land on this keyboard.
I will say it’s very strange writing about people I have not thought about in twenty plus years.
I’m completely in love with all of the uncomfortable places poetry oftentimes takes me and I do not understand why other poets choose to pull their punches instead of writing about what they know and obliterating themselves in the process.

Charles Cicirella
8/8/15