Tuesday, August 18, 2015

PB & J #2


I discovered Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter and everything has changed.
I know you probably think I am making more out of this than I should, but I swear with Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter it’s not your grandfather’s PB & J or for that matter your father’s or even your second cousin’s twice removed.
We break into the smallest pieces and parts when we least expect it. I heard about Amazon’s horrific working conditions in their warehouses and I wasn’t surprised because slave labor still exists in America the Beautiful just like rampant racism still exists and sexism and a whole bunch of other isms like populism and extremism.

Oh who am I kidding? Populism really does not exist at least not in any relatable sense that could actually help the working poor become less disenfranchised.
Senator Bernie Sanders is called a socialist like it is some horrid affliction when in fact socialism makes more sense than this wretched state of affairs we call capitalism that capitalizes on nothing but making the ├╝ber-rich richer and the poor and the middle class no longer a part of the conversation.
Trump is a wolf in wolves clothing. If you like your politicians an odd white-pink hue who go on and on about how they must be right because they’re really rich, then by all means vote for the Donald, but keep in mind you asked for it when the US ends up in receivership and we would do anything to get into Canada or Mexico as our own country breathes its last entitled, exceptional breath and dies a paupers’ death.

I discovered Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter and all was right with the world for about forty five delicious seconds. And that goes double if you toast the bread and mix Smucker's Concord Grape Jelly and Smucker’s Strawberry Preserves together.
We work in cubicles like Pavlovian rats as our "instinct for research" is rewarded with minuscule scraps of this and that. We hunger for more and more access before giving up the ghost, leaving nothing but a carbon footprint and a set of fingerprints that will land you in prison quicker than you can say habeas corpus.
Slather on the Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter and let’s not forget nor forgive Iggy for breaking down our strongest walls with Raw Power and endless bouts of self-destruction and self-corrosion. I’ve recently decided I’m not going to vote for Hillary Clinton because though I recognize that all politicians are for the most part completely full of shit I have an even bigger problem with someone who is supposedly a dyed in the wool political animal and yet clearly does not understand that you’ll never come across as genuine when you’re anything but genuine and believe you are smarter than everyone else in the room.

Charles Cicirella

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